margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The ass gains better be worth it
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