so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize