Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
