super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
