We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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