Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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