Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
