when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
