thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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