I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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