i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
