Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
