Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
