I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
