I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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