sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
