just tell him i said nine months
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
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i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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