I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
