How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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