All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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