I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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