Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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