my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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