Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Even my vagina gasped.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
