So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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