i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
