apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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