Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
