i just wanna soil my oats bro
Jerry, you need to find god
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
