I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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