11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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