I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
