every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
accomplished twins. life is a go
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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