it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
