I want to have your abortion
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
