Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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