im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
