i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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