She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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