is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
