I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize