Already got asked if we're dating
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
