shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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