i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
