we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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