can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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