Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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