i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
