are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
