Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
