She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
