i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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