my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
