Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
