just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
