So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
