Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
