Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
