awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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