She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
